7:11pm

Both Cianne and myself are working hard to furnish the rough edges of our film.

After showing a very rough draft of the film to our teacher and some classmates they gave us great feedback:

In short:

• Make the story line clear
• What motivation does Rueben have to kill Brooke?
• Cut scenes shorter the dialogue runs on for too long
• Fix lighting in scenes where it is unbalanced

To name but a few.

So we decided to sit down this whole week, every day in class 11-12th June and work out the holes in the storyline, change the script and cut heaps.

On Saturday 14th June I spent 10 hours at Cianne's. We made personal notes on what we could do better, rescheduled filming with actors and then worked on the dream scene and the script when Cianne had work. I cut chunks of dialogue out of each scene and rewrote the dream sequence. This was because the dream made Rueben look too guilty. So I created an entirely new scene which portrayed him in a light of innocence.
Yet on Tuesday Cianne had a great idea of changing the point of view of our film and instead of the audience not knowing who was guilty, they know the whole time, yet through a quicker pace and voice overs by Rueben revealing secrets we will have time to show him going insane from his deed.
This links back to classic film noir where the characters who do wrong face justice.

It is a bit more work rewriting parts of the script, the story boarding and the point of view but it will make it more clear. Instead we are twisting the characters around. The hard boiled detective who in classic noir is played by the Femme Fetel, this time he will be the one who is creating a deception. Whilst the femme fetel who in classic noir seeks the help of the detective in order to play him, is approached instead and offered help and is a victim in the plot. Also unlike Noir, the audience knows who is going to do it, but it is seeing how it will be carried out and the character development which will enhance the films intrigue to the audience.

Right now Cianne and I have just finished the new scipt. Our actors are free on the days we are filming, Cianne is story boarding some shots in the scenes that are relatively new to us that will be after Brooke is killed.

Now we are in the phases of finishing the film and then getting into the bulk of filming.
What is great is that now we can edit at home since Cianne now has the editing soft-wear at home!!!!